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April 25 Sydney is a miracle placeIt's an normal birthday, but many unusual things happend on my 20th birthday. 1st, Today is rainy, i like rainy as mad as pycho. 2ed, Today is ANZAC day, scenery on the street was far more touched than I thought could be. Many many retire soldiers they wear suit with medals, among them there were senior and junior but all of them were impressive. I thought to myself, different culture creates different people, but all the soldiers in the world are the same, they are confident and proud of their country, junior soldiers were all in uniforms and they put Australian country flower on their chest. How to discribe them, i can't find any good words, it's touched....in some way, i hope i was one of them.... 3rd, After dinner, I went to hair studio cut my hair, i was the only customer. therefore the rest of workers they took out a birthday cake, at that moment, i realized that something unusual is happening----the boss of that hair studio and I have the same date of birthday. I said happy birthday to him, his face suddenly turnned red, I thought to myself, WOW, seems like we are not only same on birthday...... Anyway, I had a wonderful birthday, even though i can't have her besides me, however, I had made wishes THEY R: 1475369 14789632 1236547 563214789 258 3214789 742695 7415963 14756987 563214789 1475963 258 12358 1475369 321456987 742695 12365479 12358 14789632............... April 24 A.N.Z.A.C DAY My Birthday....A.N.Z.A.C Day is a Australian public holiday for recalling people who died in the WW2, poeple flying kite, releasing ballons and standing in silent tribute. However, this is another personally important thing for myself, it's my birthday.
But i don't think i have the mood to celebrate for myself, because it's the end of the course....
Today, i talked to Mike Lacy, my chemistry teacher, son of bitch he said i can't fix these things up in only 5 weeks, he said I can't make it.... I know this is a little bit too late, before i didn't realize this should be my long term goal not just chasing her...
I cried in the bathroom alone, that feeling was desperate and help-less.
When i can forget her and leave this nice person lone.
April 12 顺势逻辑初中的时候我经历了这辈子我认为最严厉的老师,每次上间操的时候老师都要像疯狗一样指挥学生。搞得大家都很紧张害怕。一次,间操结束了,老师又开始咆哮了:男的成一排站左边,女的成一排站右边,其他人原地不动!(只有老师原地不动)。因为很紧张大家都无暇顾及老师语言上的错误,但是我的思维总是和别人不一样,所以我最后因为表现得太“快乐”而被老师拎过来揪过去。 本来我不是很无聊的,只是身边发生的事情让我发现很多类似之处让我想起了这件事情。就像我的老师一样,不明白为什么还要说说其他人原地不动这句话,因为这个世界上出了男的也就只有女的了吧,我想这是顺势逻辑,也是自我的一种体现,把自己置身于一个环境里。 终于,带着悔恨,留恋和无奈我要离开一个多年的好朋友了,友情就像我的房东说的那样子:总是要聚在一起然后再散开。我想这是因为人总是要变得吧,为了生活的需要我们要走向不同的领域,和新的朋友有共同语言而无暇在光顾老朋友。不过我很高兴我还是很在意以这些事情的,证明我还是一个有良心的人,既不是一个利益主义者,也不是一个踌躇主义者,因为我很快的下了决定并且摆脱眼前的障碍。至于顺势逻辑在本篇文章里当然也是一个贬义词,也是我正在努力回避的,我没有失去逻辑,没有过度的沉闷,抬起头继续向目标前进。 人生不能没有感情,因为即使是动物也懂得友情,有了友情生命会多彩,当你追求梦想的时候也许只有它在陪你。然而,人生也不能为感情而停止不前,因为人生除了感情还有梦想,如果放弃了追求梦想,你连自己也会失去。所以,不要有顺势逻辑,理智的考虑问题。跟不要相信那些网络哲学,因为他们都是找不到根源和结果的假说,现实没有那么残酷,它是很公平的,惩罚不劳作的人,奖励勤劳的人。所以不要为一些小事困扰,当你回头的一刹那流过眼泪之后,历史也就不应该那么生动了,抬起头继续走向safe heaven。 这是我才领悟到的。 April 05 美丽人生 THE BEAUTIFUL LIFE不知道你有没有看过美丽人生这部电影,这部电影是作者以孩子的角度回忆自己的父亲的。把自己的父亲描述的独出一致:平凡却又很伟大。曾经因为战争父亲失去了生命,作者目睹了父亲的最后一刻,然而那时他却以为这是父亲在给自己表演的故事。
我读过很多类似的故事,讲述父母为了保护孩子弱小的心灵而一直用一些美丽的故事把灾难变得像童话一样。当这些作者讲述自己的父母的时候总是有种无与伦比的自豪,因为他们知道他们是多么的幸运。
是的,在很多男孩子的眼中自己的父亲是个英雄。然而我从来没有认为过,在家里我似乎从来没有尊重过自己的父亲,在学校我也很少提起自己的父亲,甚至在小的时候在班级里告诉父亲不识字。在记忆力也从没有父亲的影子。
有一天不知道为什么大家就比起了自己的父亲,不知道为什么我竟然告诉同学我的父亲在打仗的时候就义了,我告诉我的朋友自己的父亲年轻的时候在空军部队开飞机。不知道是因为自己的虚荣心作祟还是真地把自己的话当真了,当看到同学们用复杂而又羡慕的眼光看着我时候,我高兴而又自豪。。。
在我的记忆里父亲没有给我留下什么深刻的记忆,我也一直以为这也是所有孩子的感受。直到身边的朋友没事说起自己的父亲的时候,看见他们自豪快乐的样子,我才明白我永远也不能像正常的孩子那样生活,因为他们眼神里流露的东西是我一辈子也学不会的。。。。
于是,我更希望自己的父亲是不存在的,哪怕是编造的也好。。。
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